Making Routines Stick Beyond September: Holiday Edition
With the holiday season quickly approaching, many families start to feel the pull of schedule changes, travel plans, later nights, and less structure. When things get hectic, returning to familiar routines can help everyone feel more grounded.
Below are a few simple ways to keep the routines you’ve worked so hard to build - even when life feels anything but consistent.
Tip 1: Start with a Flexible Mindset
Routines won’t look the same as they do during a regular school week, and that’s okay. When we expect things to shift, it becomes easier to give ourselves and our kids grace. Maybe you’re running five minutes late, bedtime needs more hands-on support, or a part of the routine gets skipped entirely.
Flexibility doesn’t mean the routine is gone; it just means you’re adapting it for the moment.
Tip 2: Preview the Next Day’s Plan
Talk about the next day the night before. Walk your child through what the day will feel like, what to expect, and what their role will be. This helps build predictability, reduces anxiety and helps your child move through the day with greater confidence - especially for students who rely on structure to feel safe.
You might say:
Tomorrow we’ll wake up a little later than on school days. Then we’ll make breakfast - should we make pancakes or waffles? After we eat, we’ll pack up the car to head to the park. What do you think we should bring with us?
Involve your child in making small choices about the day. When kids pick parts of the plan, like which breakfast or which toy to bring, they get a sense of control. That control helps them feel safer even when everything else is changing.
Repeat the plan as many times as needed—many of our autistic students love hearing the plan from start to finish because it helps everything feel more settled.
To gauge how your child is feeling about the next day’s plans, ask curious, open-ended questions like:
What are you most excited about for tomorrow?
What might feel different or the same compared to a normal Tuesday?
Grandma and Grandpa are coming into town — how do you think that will feel?
Their answers will help you understand what they might need to feel successful, safe, and supported throughout the day.
Tip 3: Use a Blank Checklist as a Flexible Tool
Because your child already knows how to use a checklist, bringing it into unpredictable moments adds familiarity, and with familiarity comes a stronger sense of safety. Keep an empty checklist nearby so you can change the daily plan while still using a tool they trust. Write the steps together as you talk about the day. Using a tool like a checklist alleviates the mental load of having to remember all of the things taking place that day.
You can even decorate the checklist to signal, “This is our holiday schedule checklist,” so your child knows which tool to use and when.
As you build the checklist, pause to ask your child what should go on it. When it’s finished, review it together and have them repeat the plan in their own words. If your child needs to confirm the plan again, use the checklist to walk through it one more time, reinforcing the tool while giving them the reassurance they need (without driving yourself crazy!).
Tip 4: Maintain the Routines That Matter Most
Whether you’re traveling or hosting loved ones, parts of your routines can still stay in place—they may just look a little different. Think about the routines your child relies on: morning, after-school, bedtime. Which pieces can stay the same, and which parts need to shift?
Bedtime is often the easiest routine to maintain almost exactly as is. The timing or location might change, but the structure can stay steady. And with sleep being such an important part of your child’s wellbeing, holding onto this routine can be a major support during busy weeks.
Tip 5: Have a Reset Plan
Use the supports your child already relies on, and use them with intention. If your child regulates with a specific object or tool, make sure it’s available before they need it. Pay attention to the signals you know so well, the ones that tell you, I need a break. Step in as their advocate.
If your child needs 15 minutes away from the dinner table, to step outside away from others, or space to re-regulate - that’s okay. Their wellbeing matters more than meeting someone else’s expectations of how they “should” participate. You don’t need to apologize, explain, or minimize their needs. Take the space your child deserves, and the space you deserve.
Tip 6: Give Yourself (and Your Child) Grace
You don’t need to explain your choices, defend your child’s support needs, or feel guilty if this season feels hard. Neurodiverse children thrive on routine and predictability, and right now, we’re asking them to adjust every single day to new plans, new foods, new expectations at the dinner table, and new people who may not understand them the way you do.
Grace isn’t just something you offer your child. It’s something you deserve, too.
The goal isn’t to make the holidays perfect—it’s to make them predictable enough for your child to feel safe and for your family to enjoy the moments that really matter.