Making Routines Stick Beyond September - Getting on the Same Page
We wanted to keep the conversation going about routines, following our latest newsletter, where we identified three parts of daily life that can be supported with a consistent routine. Many families told us they wanted more support in breaking these routines down, so we’re kicking off a new blog series: Making Routines Stick Beyond September.
This first blog focuses on one of the most important starting points, getting on the same page. Throughout the series, we’ll share common pitfalls, practical tips, helpful resources, and curious questions to help your family build sustainable routines that last.
Why Routines Matter for Families
Most families we work with share the same wish: for home life to feel calmer and more connected. Time and time again, we’ve seen that consistent daily routines can be the key to making that possible.
But before you dive into setting up a new routine, the first step is making sure everyone in your family is on the same page. Without shared expectations, routines can quickly break down.
The First Step: Getting on the Same Page
If we pause and think, most of us can remember a time when everyone came to the table with different expectations or goals.
Here’s how that might play out at home when it’s time for homework:
Charlie’s expectation: Some downtime first. After school, they throw down their backpack and head to the trampoline before math.
Mom’s expectation: Homework should be finished right away since basketball practice is later that evening. After several reminders are ignored, there’s no time left to get it done before practice, and it’s off to the next activity.
Dad’s expectation: Homework is better done in the morning when Charlie is rested, so he doesn’t mind letting them bounce for now. But in the morning, Charlie pushes back because they expect to only eat breakfast, not do homework, before heading to school.
This mismatch of expectations leads to stress for everyone.
Maybe for your family, it’s not homework, it could be bedtime, getting out the door in the morning, or screen time. Whatever the situation, when family members aren’t on the same page, routines often fall apart. That’s why being on the same page matters so much, shared understanding is what transforms routines from a struggle into a habit.
Getting on the Same Page
So how do you decide what being “on the same page” looks like for your family? A powerful curious question to start with is: “Why do we want to establish this routine?” By starting with “why,” your family aligns expectations and priorities, creating a strong foundation for routines that truly stick.
Tip: Keep an open, judgment-free mindset to help the conversation flow and encourage everyone to participate.
To continue the discussion, you might also ask: “Does this routine feel realistic for our family right now?” or “What might make it hard to stick to?” These questions help your family spot potential challenges and plan for success.
The goal of this initial conversation is to walk away feeling connected, heard, and on the same page. That’s it. You don’t need to design a full routine yet. This first step gives your family a foundation of trust and shared purpose.
What’s Next in the Series
In our next post, we’ll build on that foundation by exploring how to choose the tool that help routines stick.
Until then, remember: your role is to guide, encourage, and celebrate small wins. Those wins are what make routines sustainable. And when things don’t go perfectly—which they won’t—offer yourself and your family plenty of grace.
Get access to our free Routine Foundations Conversation Guide to support you in getting on the same page at home, by clicking on the image below.
